Why being left-handed isn’t that cool

Hi fellow lefties! (but most likely righties)

Let me break down why being a lefty isn’t that cool (this isn’t even a humble brag post, I promise. Now let’s make fun of lefties!)

My journey with left handedness began when I was 4 and couldn’t tie my shoes. How the heck does the rabbit go into the hole around your thumb? I honestly still don’t know. Velcro shoes were my best friend, and I probably would have worn them the rest of my life if my mom hadn’t stopped me.

I finally learned how to tie my shoes from my babysitter, who taught me the rabbit ear method. This is still how I tie my shoes (seriously, I don’t get the rabbit in the hole method???)

Pretty quickly after that trial, I had to learn how to write. In a completely different way than my classmates. Luckily, my first grade teacher was a champion and pulled me aside for special left-handed writing time, where she taught me how to hold my pencil correctly. She wasn’t even left-handed, what a saint!

Unfortunately, gym teachers were less sympathetic. There was rarely left handed equipment, and if there was, you better hope there weren’t any other lefties in your class, lest you have to fight over the left handed golf club! Guess who got stuck with a righty golf club- I’ll give you a clue. I can golf with either hand =^.^=

I also had to learn everything completely backward from everyone else. I couldn’t properly mirror the gym teacher, and I now realize they just thought I was inept at sports. I also thought I was inept at sports, because it took me longer than anyone else to learn what we were doing in gym. Which of course, why wouldn’t it when I had to learn everything backwards? 10 year old Deidre’s confidence level: 0

Which brings me to my next point: everyone says it is great to play sports as a lefthander, but if you paid attention during my last paragraph, you can guess what I have to say about the matter. It FREAKIN sucks unless anyone has the patience to teach you properly. I took fencing two years ago, and though it was really fun, it was an uphill battle to learn. The instructor and my fellow classmates frequently forgot I was left handed, and they liked to correct how I was holding my sword, until they had an embarrassing moment of realization. No, I was really not dumb enough to hold my sword in the wrong hand. Lol.

The one thing I am super jealous of righties about is how they can literally use any equipment. Want to shoot your friend’s bow? Sure, go ahead. Meanwhile, I will not try to shoot the bow, lest I impale someone. I’m not that ambidextrous 😉

I also never learned how to play guitar because that would have involved special instruction and a special guitar. Someone once asked me why I don’t just learn how to play it right handed, and to them I say “Why don’t you learn how to play it left-handed?” It’s hard and feels weird, that’s why.

And let’s not forget about the arm-stabbing notebooks spirals. Or hand-pinching scissors.

So in closing, now that I have sufficiently self-deprecated, I can humble brag a little. There are a few good things about being left handed: it makes you kind of unique. Allegedly you are more creative. Sometimes you have an advantage in sports. And it gives you an instant bond with other lefties. But it also has drawbacks, and sometimes affected my confidence (shoe tying??? sportsball?!!???). So if you are a righty, you can feel grateful for all the equipment-related opportunities you have, and I hope you will strum a guitar in honor of the lefties that don’t always have an easy time. And to you lefties, hiya!