Monthly Update: October

Happy fall! How are you doing? Drinking all the pumpkin spice?

In an effort to cram in all the fall activities possible, I may have overexerted myself this month. I had a fall activity planned for every weekend, which sounded like a good idea at the time. But now I am EXHAUSTED. Still, fall is great!

I went on a long bike tour and stopped at a beautiful waterfall. The fall color was just starting to come in, and the sunny 60 degree weather was perfect.

Next up on my long list of fall activities, I watched Hocus Pocus while eating a pumpkin spice cupcake. It had been so long since I had seen it, it was like watching it for the first time. When I was young, I totally had a crush on Thackery. (what kind of name is Thackery by the way??)

I also made artichoke dip for the first time. It was pretty simple! I used artichokes, mayo, and parmesan from Costco. Next time I might spruce it up with another ingredient… perhaps cream cheese?

What are your favorite fall activities and fall treats?

Personal Failure or just a bad fit?

I wanted to write a follow up post to the one about why I quit my job to further explain the reasons behind my decision to quit, but in the end, I think it came across how I wanted it to.

There were a lot of reasons I quit, and I kept rewriting my post because there were so many reasons but none of them seemed to do my decision justice. Mostly, I didn’t want to blame anyone- because it really wasn’t anyone’s fault. And I didn’t want to come across as “too sensitive for this world.” I may be sensitive, but that doesn’t mean I need to put up with unhappy situations. No amount of self help books or negative self-talk over the last 28 years has seemed to change the fact that I am sensitive, so I guess that trait is here to stay ~(*.*)~ accepting this has been hard, but that’s another blog post!

At its core, the issue was that I believed it was necessary to struggle and grind- isn’t grinding what you are supposed to do before there is a big payout? Is work really work if it isn’t painful?

I resisted quitting because then the grind would have been for nothing- there would be no promotion to make the struggle worth it. I also worried that it was my fault for not being able to make the job work- I would ask myself, why can’t I just do the job? Why can’t I just make myself be better?

What I should have asked was: why struggle? Why not do something I’m good at? Why not be brave? Sometimes a situation is just a bad fit, not a personal failure. It’s ok to accept that you were not made to do everything. You don’t have to go against the grain and pretend to be something you’re not, because that is exhausting. Maybe that’s obvious to some, but I never knew I could just try to get a job I might be good at. I never felt ‘ready’ or ‘worthy’. An enjoyable job could only be attained after the struggle, when I had 110% of all the necessary skills and qualifications. But, it turns out that if you apply to enough carefully curated jobs over the course of several months, eventually you might actually get one. And this time, it will actually be one you want. Whoa!

Why being left-handed isn’t that cool

Hi fellow lefties! (but most likely righties)

Let me break down why being a lefty isn’t that cool (this isn’t even a humble brag post, I promise. Now let’s make fun of lefties!)

My journey with left handedness began when I was 4 and couldn’t tie my shoes. How the heck does the rabbit go into the hole around your thumb? I honestly still don’t know. Velcro shoes were my best friend, and I probably would have worn them the rest of my life if my mom hadn’t stopped me.

I finally learned how to tie my shoes from my babysitter, who taught me the rabbit ear method. This is still how I tie my shoes (seriously, I don’t get the rabbit in the hole method???)

Pretty quickly after that trial, I had to learn how to write. In a completely different way than my classmates. Luckily, my first grade teacher was a champion and pulled me aside for special left-handed writing time, where she taught me how to hold my pencil correctly. She wasn’t even left-handed, what a saint!

Unfortunately, gym teachers were less sympathetic. There was rarely left handed equipment, and if there was, you better hope there weren’t any other lefties in your class, lest you have to fight over the left handed golf club! Guess who got stuck with a righty golf club- I’ll give you a clue. I can golf with either hand =^.^=

I also had to learn everything completely backward from everyone else. I couldn’t properly mirror the gym teacher, and I now realize they just thought I was inept at sports. I also thought I was inept at sports, because it took me longer than anyone else to learn what we were doing in gym. Which of course, why wouldn’t it when I had to learn everything backwards? 10 year old Deidre’s confidence level: 0

Which brings me to my next point: everyone says it is great to play sports as a lefthander, but if you paid attention during my last paragraph, you can guess what I have to say about the matter. It FREAKIN sucks unless anyone has the patience to teach you properly. I took fencing two years ago, and though it was really fun, it was an uphill battle to learn. The instructor and my fellow classmates frequently forgot I was left handed, and they liked to correct how I was holding my sword, until they had an embarrassing moment of realization. No, I was really not dumb enough to hold my sword in the wrong hand. Lol.

The one thing I am super jealous of righties about is how they can literally use any equipment. Want to shoot your friend’s bow? Sure, go ahead. Meanwhile, I will not try to shoot the bow, lest I impale someone. I’m not that ambidextrous 😉

I also never learned how to play guitar because that would have involved special instruction and a special guitar. Someone once asked me why I don’t just learn how to play it right handed, and to them I say “Why don’t you learn how to play it left-handed?” It’s hard and feels weird, that’s why.

And let’s not forget about the arm-stabbing notebooks spirals. Or hand-pinching scissors.

So in closing, now that I have sufficiently self-deprecated, I can humble brag a little. There are a few good things about being left handed: it makes you kind of unique. Allegedly you are more creative. Sometimes you have an advantage in sports. And it gives you an instant bond with other lefties. But it also has drawbacks, and sometimes affected my confidence (shoe tying??? sportsball?!!???). So if you are a righty, you can feel grateful for all the equipment-related opportunities you have, and I hope you will strum a guitar in honor of the lefties that don’t always have an easy time. And to you lefties, hiya!

New Stuff! Illustrations I’ve been working on

So if you’ve been following along, you know I’ve been taking an illustration class. It’s been a GAME CHANGER. Not necessarily in the drawing aspect, but in finding my style.

I thought Kawaii was my style- and it still kind of is, but I realized it’s actually somewhere in between. It’s like cartoony-realism. For this series, I challenged myself to make some pretend greeting cards to see how they would turn out (and maybe they will become real greeting cards soon!).

We used this layout a lot in class, and I found it very freeing. I don’t really like to draw backgrounds or environments, and I don’t really like making one object the focal point. I felt limited. Until I discovered this layout! Now I can draw all the things together.

This is when I discovered that I really like comforting things like cake, warm beverages, books, and cats (the last one was a given). It reminded me a lot of the things you would find in a cat cafe. Pretty everything I drew would be in a cat cafe, actually. So to sum up my style: cartoony cat cafe. Boom.

What do you think of these cards? Which is your favorite? Even if you don’t want to publicly comment, send me a message 🙂 it would help me immensely!